Dreams of Future Past

Tomorrow marks two months since Cleo had her surgery and I got the dreadful news that the operation didn’t go well at all. I had hoped for another lucky winning hand like we were dealt in Abbie’s case. Were despite the odds my girl that I loved so dearly would pull through. Only this time the cards were stacked against us.

Cleo, Maggie & Zoe Monster

I have to be honest Dr Wise hinted it would be best to put Cleo to sleep. She said that her care would be intensive and that Cleo was not going to get any better. In hindsight I am glad I got these two months to spend with Cleo and to say our good-byes.

Cleo did require almost constant care. I’ve done hospice type care on several fosters before so it wasn’t like this would be new. Besides Cleo was not a foster dog – she was my best long time friend. Over the last few months our bond grew even closer. That’s why I mentioned I thought I had come to terms with losing her. In the end each case of watching something dear to you slip away is unique – Cleo being no different.

Toby, Sydney & Scarlett from 2007 

Sadly over the past three years we have lost fifteen of our senior hounds. Eight have been from my original crew I put together over a decade ago – my bassets Maggie, Zoe, now Cleo, Toby, Sydney, and Samantha, and Beagle and Ban Bam. Each of those losses tore huge holes in my heart. Sometimes I sit at night and wonder how I can continue to suffer such tremendous feeling of loss with each passing. The answer is really simple – life grants you great memories that come with great burdens. I would never trade the memories simply to escape the pain that comes with not being able to build more memories.

Not much changes through the years - - from 2002

I share many of those private moments the hounds and I have had through the years with our friends. I also remind people that despite the hardships I still consider myself very blessed to be able to share my life with the hounds I so deeply love. 

For people who have no clue who I am or how we live to suggest my life is unhappy or I have any bottled up anger in my life they simply are ignorant and clueless. The last thing I do every night is say good night to my beloved hounds.

I don’t do that as a unit – or pack but individually. In most cases the hounds have their own bedtime routine whether it’s crawling up for a quick scratch on the chest before scurrying off to her bed like Abigail or wandering over to my bed for a pat on the head like Dano. Several of the hounds claim their spot in bed – whether its Agnes stealing my pillow or Poe stretched out by my feet.

Rise and shine its a new morning

In the morning I’m the first one up. Our routine then turned into waking each of the hounds and escorting them out for their morning walk. That is pretty much how the whole day goes – whether its our meal time routine, watching the morning news or the two hours I spend in the evening watching TV – the days are focused around those routines.

Its not to say I don’t squeeze in things that need done in between including some me time on the computer or many of my other pastimes I enjoy doing. But we are a large family unit. When one passes, like Cleo and beagle – they are most missed during those daily routines. I find myself remembering how Beagle liked her dish or how I would prepare our queen something special because she was our queen.

Life goes on around here because it is a routine. I may just plow through the paces still thinking about my loss but I do so with a spirit that keeps the other hounds high-spirited. As I think about our losses I am realistic in understanding there will be more. Of the twenty hounds still part of our extended pack only six are under four years old. Only eight are under six years old. Nineteen are between the ages of ten to eighteen years of age.



Our sweet dream Agnes

Dreams are a strange concept. Philosophers talk about reaching for your dreams to find true happiness. I dream of days gone past. Those are the dreams that bring solace to my soul. One thing I’ve come to understand about life is you can’t turn back the page – you can’t stop the clock and all you can do is try and build dreams that give your soul the same comfort as days gone past.

Since we can’t turn back the page to yesterday and we surely can’t bet on tomorrow the only thing that works is too live each day to its fullest with the cards you have to play. Fortunately, I am still surrounded by a pack of happy, loving hounds that manage to keep me more than busy every day. We push through our daily routine looking to build more cherished memories for days to come.       These moments in time are the dreams of future past.

Cleo's Final Journey

Journey to the Heavens

Yesterday I took the dreaded slow trip out to Jackson Lake to lay my sweet girl Cleo to rest. It seems we’ve made this journey far too often. The hounds and I are blessed with some remarkably kind friends. In times of great sadness I lean on my friend Bill who helped set up a small burial plot for several of my precious hounds were they could rest peacefully on his farm. 

While I thought I had prepared myself for her departure during the last two months since we received the dreadful news of her illness that wasn’t the case. Once the finality of losing her set in all the emotions of losing your best friend set in. Cleo was the last survivor who had helped me through the passing of my father in 2001. I brought Cleo along with Maggie and Zoe to dad’s funeral. Afterwards we traveled for four or five months at a wicked pace trying to outrun the demons of despair that had set in. Ultimately this would lead to becoming involved in rescue which not only saved hundreds of hounds but my own sense of purpose as well.

I found Cleo living on a chain in a dirt filled yard in south Florida’s "Cuban Ghetto". Cleo was only a year old and she shared the backyard with an overly energetic pit puppy about the same age. Their chains were separated but the pit puppy was close enough to take a swipe out of her nose. She was petrified.

Cleo's first picture after her bath - she wasn't sure what was going on

 
I found here answering a classified ad in the morning news. The girl I was with told me I didn’t need a third basset but once I saw that look of fear in her eyes I wasn’t leaving without here. A problem came up when the woman told me in broken english she wanted $100 for Cleo. I told her I only had $60 but wasn’t leaving without her. So, I offered her a deal – pulling out my cell phone I told her "$60 and I won’t call animal control". I never saqw anyone agree so fast. At first I laughed and told my friend she probably didn’t have a green card but later I realized she was probably concerned about the illegal pit bull she had instead.

Learning the rules - there ne no sleeping on the floor

Cleo never spent a day living on a chain ever again. In my heart I know Cleo lived a wonderful life. Not only me but with her adopted siblings Maggie and Zoe. That bond remained even as our family of hounds grew.

For twelve and a half years Cleo gave back a love that was priceless. She had a certain grace that brought smiles to adults and laughter to children. Strangers would ask if they could pet "my dog" and I would simply tell them to ask her? Cleo always obliged. I like to think once you met Cleo - she left a lasting impression that always brought a smile to your face. She was loved by many.

I knew Cleo was closing down in her final hours. I was by her side letting her know what a truly great dog she was and that it was all right to let go. Cleo was fighter. I truly believe she fought on not wanting to disappoint me. Cleo was loyal in her love right up to her last dying breath.

While the tears have slowed and eventually the images and memories will be replaced with smiles but life will never be quite the same around here. For twelve and a half years now I never went to sleep at night without sharing a final lights out "Night Cleo – daddy loves you". It was those words on her passing that started the tears flowing.

In the end I talked to her about going to sleep so she could see Maggie and Zoe again. She is in a more peaceful place now. In times of great grief music and words can play a powerful role in moving one’s mind from sorrow to remembering the good times shared building those priceless memories we cherish till our final breath.

An English songwriter Peter Green wrote a song that always mesmerized feelings deep inside my conscious soul. The song was written in 1969 called Closing My Eyes. It on a old Fleetwood Mac album called "Then Play On".

"Then Play On" is a mindset that reminds me to continue living each day one at a time. That is what life is all about – playing on.

In loving memory of my girl I’ll close with this song as I press on feeding on her smile.

Written by guitarist / vocalist - leader of the Band - Peter Green.

John Mc Vie [bass]
Danny Kirwan [guitar / vocal]
Mick Fleetwood [drum]
Jeremy Spencer [slide guitar / vocal]
Peter Green [guitar / vocal]

Lyrics -

Now it's the same as before
And I'm alone again

With no sorrow for myself
And I'm blaming no one else

And closing my eyes
And seeing you standing there

Now it's the same as before
You've touched me with your love

And though you're in my heart
We're still a world apart
As now I'm back to the time
Where I would search for a dream
But no use to try anymore as before
Someday I'll die, and maybe then I'll be with you


Rest in Peace - Till We Meet

So I'm closing my eyes
To hear the people laugh

For they're all aglow
Not knowing where to go

But is it asking too much
When the question is what to do
With the life I'll have
It seems I know nothing now
Except my love for you
And the strength in my hands
To go on feeding your smile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ol5vqE4PVdc

Living Poe's Dream

 

 

Today we celebrate ten tears since our Poe joined our family of hounds. I written about Poe before and the wonderful bond we have formed. Poe has been a dream come true. A truer more loyal friend and companion would be hard to find. Over the years Poe has been my constant shadow. He is a beacon of light whom I am quite proud.

While Poe is no longer young with his touch of grey he remains my forever friend.

Poe with Maggie, Zoe and Bam Bam - five years ago (May 2008) 

 

Today is his day – our day to celebrate all the wonderful times we have shared. It is our shared dreams that make our lives complete – not the promises of riches we can not spend. Poe is one of my priceless riches that life has bestowed. Life promises us nothing but the riches of finding our dreams – in Poe we have found that dream.

Poe and Cleo in the summer of 2010

There are those throughout the history of time who tell you - to find your dreams you must be a dreamer yourself. We might all be different and lost in life's fog, but in the end aren't we all just living Poe's dream within a dream?

Poe and Bam Bam in 2006

Poe now joins an exclusive club we call "Ten Years After" with Cleo, Abbie, Beagle, Agnes, Casey and Marley who have withstood the grace of time. This is his day to celebrate that bond.

From his namesake – Edgar Allen Poe

"A Dream within a Dream"

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

Edgar Allen "Poe"

Saving Juju

Juju

In October of 2009 I pulled two beagle mix puppies out of Henry County Animal Control. They were litter mates from a local backyard breeder that I named Juju and Ziva. Both were only about twelve weeks old.

Of the more than 300 beagle and bassets that I have fostered for a local licensed rescue through the years it was unusual to even consider taking in two puppies. Typically puppies find their way into the other beagle rescue groups in the Atlanta area who do a remarkable job in placing them in loving homes.

Juju and Ziva however had severe skittish behavior around people. I suspect that was the result of not being properly socialized around people as puppies. Not only were they both afraid of strangers but they were also severely afraid of me as well. When I decided to stop doing rescue in the summer of 2010 as with the rest of the special needs fosters I simply took responsibility.

Ziva


Over the last three years both Juju and Ziva have dome remarkably well. Both are sweet girls nearing the age of four. They are housetrained, follow simple commands and have a friendly beagle disposition. I only problem I have had with both is they are young enough and agile enough to scale the fence that encircles our yard. While they never wander too far from home it is simply too dangerous with all the traffic so during the day they stay in a six by ten kennel unless I am out in the yard to supervise them.

Within the last two months Juju has developed severe diarrhea. I brought her in to Monroe Animal Hospital April 8^th thinking it might be worms but instead she was diagnosed as having "chronic" diarrhea. She was put on antibiotics and a bland diet with instructions to return in three or four weeks if there was no improvement. Juju’s did not respond to treatment as we had hoped but instead she has developed a prolapsed rectum which will require surgery.

The cost of that surgery will be around $600 to $650 which includes her last two exams. The good news is she should make a full recovery in about three weeks. With my own health situation I had asked Henry County Humane if they would assist in finding both Juju and Ziva new homes.

Both girls have developed into sweet beagles who will make excellent family pets. It is my hope that they can find a family looking for a pair of house-trained beagles who would be great around mature children or a family looking for active hounds.

For these girls to realize that dream of being part of a family of their own Juju needs help. I am not in a position to pay for her surgery with my own health issues limiting my ability to work. Anyone who can help with Juju’s surgery costs can contact the Monroe Animal Hospital where donations are being taken for specifically for Juju's surgery.

You can reach the Monroe Animal Hospital at 770-267-3006.

Life Trailed by 20 Hounds

There are plenty of people who are more than willing to lovingly look after your dogs if you should be sentenced to any amount of incarceration. 

No Kill Nation spokesperson Teri Dyer   

The arrogance that a spokesperson could even make such a statement astounds me.  Obviously No Kill Nation hasn't considered how this would effect the hounds she is suggesting are in need of a "loving home".

Many of you reading this many not know exactly WHO the hounds are that have become an iconic treasure in our community.

Over the years I have shared the antics and stories of my beloved hounds for the world to see.  I have also shared the heartbreak as many have peacefully left this world.  I can say without a doubt losing my hounds would be life altering.

Meet the hounds known as "Trailed by 20 Hounds"

I found Cleo chained in a backyard in south Florida on December 28th 2000.  She was being used to tease a pit bull who's chain reached close enough to touch nose to nose.  I advised the Spanish speaking owner I wasn't leaving without her even if I had to call INS.  He "sold" her to me for $60.  Cleo recently was diagnosed with a huge tumor on her hind leg.  Surgery was not successful in saving her life - she is now in hospice care while I treasure each day we have left.

Abbie was surrendered with a euthanasia order for being aggressive after taking a bite out of a two years olds ice cream cone.  She got all cone - what one year old puppy doesn't like ice cream?  She's been here since August 2001.  For the last three years she has struggled with an open wound tumor on her front leg that would not heal.  A year ago her leg was removed and she has had a full recovery.  She still enjoys an occasional cone.

Beagle Annie found herself at the Spalding gassing shelter in November 2001 with only hours to live.  I "rescued" her with the idea of finding her a home.  Not wanting to get attached I started calling her beagle - she's been here ever since.

Agnes was rescued from Miami Dade Animal Services on January 16th 2002.  She was picked up as a stray with a huge gash on her forehead New Years Eve.  Agnes was near death from all the disease in the shelter with whip worms, an infected head would and general poor health.  Probably the sweetest of hounds we call her the "Mad Kisser" around here.  Who wouldn't love that face?

I found Casey Jones at the Spalding Shelter waiting to be gassed on May 9th 2002.  He was not available for adoption since he had a crushed left eye.  The shelter manager told me you don't want a "one eyed" beagle we have another.  I looked at him and said "how do you know what I want?" and grabbed a leashed walking him out.  The eye was removed the next morning.  Casey's been a wonderful friend ever since.  

I found Marley after answering a "free to a good home ad on crackliest on August 5th  2002.  He was located in Hernando County Fl.  We drove 450 miles to snatch this handsome boy up.  A gorgeous hound with super long ears.  His owner claimed he couldn't house train him so he was living in their backyard.  I'm not sure what he was talking about as we didn't have any issues.  Maybe Marley couldn't figure out how to open the door?

Poe Poe's owner dropped him off at a local vets office in May of 2003 and never came back. He was two years old.  Not wanting to take him to the local high kill shelter a receptionist had him neutered, paid his bill and called me.  A sweeter hound does not exist.  Poe Poe and Bam Bam (RIP) were best friends.  Like Bam Bam, Poe has been my 24/7 companion ever since.

What were you thinking?

Beep Beep was a foster failure.  She's been with us since October 2003 - still waiting for one of those 23,000,000 people looking for a great house trained beagle.  Adopted out twice Beep Beep came back twice for acting up.  One adoptee was a personal friend who adopted another beagle named Einstein in 2006.  I've always thought Beep Beep acted out so she could come back and join all her houndie friends.  I officially adopted Beep Beep upon retiring from rescue in the summer of 2010.

Belle Belle was dumped at the Gwinnett Animal Shelter in November 2005.  She was eight years old.  Her owner had her since she was a puppy and dumped her when she started peeing on the floor. A VERY KIND animal control Officer Sandy Towler hid Belle in the back to avoid following up on the order.  She begged me to come rescue Belle before someone found her in a back part of the shelter.  Belle had bladder stones which were removed and I put her up for adoption.  She's still waiting.  I adopted Belle in the summer of 2010 as well.

Meet Sherlock. I bought Sherlock in a "batch" of basset and beagles that were being auctioned at a puppy mills breeders auction for $25 in May of 2007.  He was just a puppy. A truly handsome boy I selfishly decided to just keep him.  Everyone who meets Sherlock just melts at his sweetness.  The only issue I have with him is he definitely CANTHUNT.

Abigail was part of a second shipment of puppy mill breeder rejects in August 2007 just months before the infamous dog barking case in Gwinnett..  She was terrified with people including me.  I held on to her to try and work with her only to decide like Sherlock she would just stay.   While it's been a slow process initially Abigail has blossomed into a truly wonderful hound.  Sherlock still thinks of Abigail represent a next wave of hounds for after many of the older hounds have passed on to the bridge 

Many of the other "original" by20hounds Maggie Dawg, Zoe Monster, Toby, Sydney Barret, Scarlett, Mulligan, Flash, Samantha and my dear sweet Bam Bam have passed on taking with them huge chunks of my heart but leaving behind memories I will cherish till we meet again.

I am blessed to have been given the gift of their loyal friendship and the priceless memories that remain close to my heart. 

This blog is dedicated to the stories and memorials of the iconic hounds known as Trailed by 20 Hounds.

Friend of the Devil

I lit out from Reno, I was trailed by twenty hounds
Didn't get to sleep last night 'till the morning came around.

Set out runnin' but I take my time
A friend of the devil is a friend of mine
If I get home before daylight, I just might get some sleep tonight.

Ran into the devil, babe, he loaned me twenty bills
I spent the night in Utah in a cave up in the hills.

Set out runnin' but I take my time, a friend of the devil is a friend of mine,
If I get home before daylight, I just might get some sleep tonight.

I ran down to the levee but the devil caught me there
He took my twenty dollar bill and vanished in the air.

Set out runnin' but I take my time
A friend of the devil is a friend of mine
If I get home before daylight, I just might get some sleep tonight.

Got two reasons why I cry away each lonely night,
The first one's named Sweet Anne Marie, and she's my hearts delight.
The second one is prison, babe, the sheriff's on my trail,
And if he catches up with me, I'll spend my life in jail.

Got a wife in Chino, babe, and one in Cherokee
The first one says she's got my child, but it don't look like me.

Set out runnin' but I take my time,
A friend of the devil is a friend of mine,
If I get home before daylight, I just might get some sleep tonight.

-RIP Jerry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYo3rPgAvM4

Peace and Love

Drats

Lovers Cross

Jim had a tremendous skill in starting and ending truly emotional songs. His insight, spirit
and verbage are sorely to this day.

I love Jim Croce, what an inspiring truly amazing musician. Pure poetry and such a sad haunting melody. Jim is truly missed. Such a shame more folks don't give him a listen.

Over the past few years the hounds and I have been truly blessed with the kindness and friendship of hundreds of Face Book friends. Your passion and love for companion friends has been an inspiration and left us with memories we will forever cherish. We are proud to have inspired a discussion that helped change a culture of thinking on our relationships with our three and four legged friends.

Social media has lead a revolution of thinking that in time will bridge a gap that allows far too much suffering and senseless death for God’s creatures that could never be part of any spiritual plan.

The world can be a dangerous place. As much as we cherish the good we can not overlook the evil that has become all to part of the fabric with which we live. There is far too much hate in this world that seems to negate all the good.

Over the last few months some of very small-minded cold hearted voices of evil have decided to target not only my safety but more importantly the safety of my beloved hounds. I can not overlook these threats.

I like to think we share a vision of a kinder, gentler world were peace, love and understanding of our differences drowns out the hatred that has taken over the social media world. As important as that vision is for our companion friends it carries with it dangers I can not risk. For the last twelve years I have used my advocacy voice to speak for those who can’t. I have paid a huge price participating in the discussions needed to bring about this change, including the loss of my beloved Bam Bam a few years back.

I have never recovered from nor gotten over her loss. Bam Bam’s death was collateral in a war of opposing views. To this day I blame myself for not protecting her and recognizing the risk that came with what I do, I will carry the nightmares of her loss with the shattered parts of my broken heart. To this day Bam Bam’s image remains everywhere I look.

Now I face a much greater danger as small minded self absorbed cold hearted animal haters target the rest of my hounds. No matter how huge the vision of a kinder world is for our companion friends I could not survive losing even one of the hounds in order to capture that dream.

There has always been an exit plan for my beloved hounds. I have made the decision to close down all Face Book operations and execute that plan. We will cease participating in sharing the antics, stories and pictures of the hounds. I do so out of concern for their safety.

Instead, I will be returning to writing stories on my blogs and hopefully the lord will move on to other methods and commination in formats where the hounds will be secure. It saddens me to have to make this decision but I trust our true friends will understand.

We are but here on this earth for a few fleeting moments in time. No one can change yesterday’s approaching dawn nor are we assured a vision of tomorrow sun as it rises in the east. All our faith assures us of is our today, this minute, this hour, right now.

Over the last forty plus years I have tested that resolve more times than I care to discuss. I have learned to cherish every moment, every breathe that the lord offers. In some strange way I have questioned why a number of times he didn’t cash in my chips. I’m left with the hope that my work remains undone. I am no hero, nor a saint in any way. I am merely one person in a huge world trying to make amends for my sins of the past. It is my hope, my dream that when the time comes to knock on heaven’s door I will be judged on the kindness in my heart and my respect for the lord’s cherished ones. All the money in the world won’t buy a ticket to the lord’s kingdom – it just doesn’t work that way.

To all our dear friends – as much as we love you all I can not hang on no lovers cross for you. I leave you a tear and these emotional words.

Lover’s Cross

Guess that it was bound to happen
Was just a matter of time
But now I've come to my decision
And it's one of the painful kind
'Cause now it seems that you wanted a martyr
Just a regular guy wouldn't do
But baby I can't hang upon no lover's cross for you

I really got to hand it to ya
'Cause girl you really tried
But for every time that we spent laughin'
There were two times that I cried
And you were tryin' to make me your martyr
And that's the one thing I just couldn't do
'Cause baby, I can't hang upon no lover's cross for you

'Cause tables are meant for turnin'
And people are bound to change
And bridges are meant for burnin'
When the people and memories they join aren't the same

Still I hope that you can find
Another who can take what I could not
He'll have to be a super guy
Or maybe a super god
'Cause I never was much of a martyr before
And I ain't bout to start nothin' new
And baby, I can't hang upon no lover's cross for you

Jim Croce

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kbg95YYtXxE

Peace and much love - Drats

 

You've got a friend

Agnes - MDAS Survivor

 

When you're down and troubled
And you need some loving care
And nothing, nothing is going right

Mr Gibbs - Heard County Animal Control Survivor

Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

Frannie - Heard County Animal Control Surviver

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am

I'll come running to see you again

Lucy Moonchild - abandoned on a country road

Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend

Lilly

If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow

Albert



Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you'll hear me knocking at your door

Georgia on my mind

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am

 

Bam Bam

I'll come running to see you
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there

 

Mulligan found crippled abandoned on a dirt road

Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend
When people can be so cold



Sydney Barrett MDAS Survivor

They'll hurt you, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh, but don't you let them
 

Beagle - Gas Chamber Survivor

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall 

Ellie Mae Walton County Animal Control

 

All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend